The Only Good Thing
by x.lithium
Summary: Five years after breaking up with Blaine, Kurt goes back to Ohio. Sequel now posted!
1. Chapter 1

New York is captivating. It still takes Kurt's breath away that he gets to wake up in this city every morning.

But Ohio is where Kurt learned about love.

Ohio is where Kurt's dad, unwavering and absolutely certain, forced himself into Kurt's gaze and promised his son that he would fight to the death for Kurt's right to love whoever he wanted.

Ohio is where Rachel, with her gold star diva personality stuffed into all five feet of her defiant eyes and pitchy voice, had yelled at the jock sneering at Kurt.

Ohio is where Kurt gained a brother in Finn—a brother who learns to be brave enough to get up on a stage and sing and dance right alongside Kurt, and who can even occasionally be bribed with promises of food to go shopping with Kurt.

Ohio is where, the night before leaving for New York, Kurt empties himself inside out and tells Mercedes all about who he is and who he wants to be and all the things that scare him. And he finally finally _finally _tells Mercedes about Karofsky's kiss. It's where she holds him close and they cry and cry an cry and she tells him that they might be cities apart but he will always be her boo and to never stop being brave.

And Ohio is where a boy falls in love with Kurt for the very first time. It's where a boy with slicked back hair holds his hand and texts him 'courage' and falls in love with him slowly and quietly through hours spent at the Lima Bean and cheesy songs and soft glances that fill the space between moments.

Rachel is pouting at Kurt from the couch as Kurt bustles around the stove because after five years, Rachel is still remarkably disastrous in the kitchen.

"I wish I could come back to Ohio with you. I mean, I know you're going back for Vogue stuff, but I would've liked to visit my dads and everyone."

"Rachel, you love New York as much as I do and God knows you've been yapping nonstop about this audition for weeks.

"True," she rolls onto her side on the couch, tucking her cheek against the pillow and then, softly: "Sometimes I think we spent so much time trying to escape Ohio, that we didn't think about all of the good things we'd be leaving behind. "

* * *

Every thing about Ohio used to be suffocating with its constancy, but Kurt notices all the little changes every time he comes back.

Blaine still styles his hair with what looks like an entire bottle of gel, still grins with squinty eyes and puffy cheeks and teeth that look like they are trying to escape his face.

Burt had sent a text to Kurt, explaining there was an emergency at the shop and that both himself and Finn had to stay and hey, Blaine had a flight out of Ohio that same day, so he would drive Kurt's car up to the airport and Kurt could just grab the car keys from him.

"Kurt, hi!"

Even after all this time, Kurt still feels the fresh hurt and devastation, as if he'd just found out about Blaine cheating on him. For a second he can't breathe and wants to cry and grasp at Blaine and shake him again and again until neither of them remembers the touch of another boy on Blaine's skin.

"Hi Blaine!" they hug, quick and friendly and Kurt can't _breathe_, "Happy to see me?"

"Of course, Kurt." Blaine's eyes soften and he smiles dopily at Kurt, as if they were still in love.

_Always_, Blaine doesn't say, because it isn't his place anymore.

Kurt hears it anyway.

Kurt catches Blaine up on the latest Rachel drama as the shorter man digs Kurt's car keys out of his bag. "But hey, Kurt! My flight isn't for a couple of hours, and you shouldn't drive home without waking up a bit! Come grab a coffee with me? My treat."

* * *

"Grande nonfat mocha and a medium drip, please." (And if the moment feels entirely too familiar, Kurt doesn't say a thing.)

"You look good, Blaine."

And he does. Blaine isn't the teenage boy Kurt had loved any more. He's grown taller and filled out, although his waist is still delectably trim, Kurt notices. He's a grown up version of the dapper private school boy Kurt had fallen in love with, tucked into a dark grey suit (Armani, his vogue knowledge supplies) and he's foregone his bowties for a patterned skinny tie. But his pant leg has risen up and Kurt can see that Blaine hasn't given up his penchant for bright ridiculous socks.

(Kurt's favourite thing about New York is its constant change, but all he wants right now is to cling to the tidbits of Blaine that are _familiar _and never let them go.)

Blaine shrugs, smiling and tilting his head the way that Kurt could never resist five years ago.

"Can't just let myself go, you never know if today's the day my first love will come around and take me back, you know?"

The words freeze and hang and dissolve in the air. Kurt can see his own name on the on the tip of Blaine's tongue, and blinks slowly before looking away.

They sit in silence for minutes before Kurt turns back to the same hazel eyes that he'd looked into the very first time he'd made love. (And it isn't as if Kurt has changed. He can count the number of men he's loved on one hand and if he's honest with himself, the one he loved the most is sitting right in front of him. But Kurt isn't the same boy who didn't know how to refuse those beautiful hazel eyes anything at all.)

Kurt is _tired_. Tired of not knowing how to love someone that isn't Blaine.

He doesn't bother pretending that it isn't an accusation: "You were the only good thing about this place."

_You broke us, you wrecked it_, he doesn't say.

_You were the only thing I ever wanted to keep_, he doesn't say.

_I loved you so much and you took it all away_, he doesn't say.

Blaine hears him anyway.

"God, I used to think you were the only good thing about this place." He doesn't know where to look; Blaine looks as devastated as Kurt felt. Still feels. "There are so many good things about Ohio, I would have been just _fine_ without you and you nearly killed me with what you did."

* * *

Kurt walks Blaine to his departure gate. Blaine has his hands shoved deep in his pockets, and Kurt reaches out to straighten Blaine's tie.

"I come back to Ohio and you fly to New York for the week." He smiles half-heartedly, and it is too bitter to convince either of them anyway, "It's like we just keep missing each other."

Kurt refuses to cry for something that died five years ago. Blaine cries anyway and looks at Kurt and he doesn't say that he is _so sorry_ and that _no one else can love you like I do_.

Kurt almost turns away. He did it five years ago and the hurt hasn't gone away even a little.

"You were the very best thing about this place." he says, slow and quiet, just like falling in love with Blaine five years ago. "You still are. Please don't let me go again."


	2. Chapter 2

"You were the very best thing about this place," says Kurt.

Five years and a neon city, and this isn't the boy Blaine had loved the best that he knew how five years ago. New Kurt is paler, a little sharper at the edges, a little thicker skinned.

But then, maybe New York hadn't done that. Maybe Blaine had—hurt Kurt and changed Kurt and made him twist into someone new.

Kurt doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve anymore. (He keeps it hidden deep in his pocket, under layers and guards and behind walls put up at the places where Blaine had burned the bridges between them.)

But then Kurt's exhale hitches and wavers, deep in his chest the way it had when he'd reached out on Dalton's stairwell to the boy who brushes by his shoulder and hums _Teenage Dream _under his breath.

And for a moment, Kurt is the boy that Blaine had turned for because he had been adorable and a little scared and a truly terrible spy.

For just a moment, Kurt is the boy who'd linked hands shakily with Blaine, the boy who'd laughed and cried and _believed in _Blaine with every part of himself.

"You still are. Please don't let me go again."

(For a moment Kurt is seventeen and wide-eyed and he is the boy who'd returned to McKinley because he was brave and beautiful and so in love with all the good things he'd left behind.)

Blaine doesn't get on the plane.

* * *

Sneaking into McKinley is easy.

Kurt still knows the corridors and halls like he knows all the scars on his heart. And Blaine had long since lost count of the morning where Mr. Schue has caught him clutching an old picture and an even older cut out of the word 'COURAGE'.

(He's long since the horrors of bullies and letterman jackets, but even after all these years, Kurt's old choir room still seems like the safest place to be when the world is too overwhelming and scary and he misses Kurt just a little too much.)

Kurt sits in his old choir, crosses his legs and tilts his head, as if this was back when dreams were promises and not old, dusty regrets.

"I used to think that at least one of the Glee couples would make it out of McKinley. I used to think it would be Brit and Santana."

_I used to think it would be us, _thinks Blaine.

"Everyone thought it would be Rachel and Finn, but I knew. They burned too deep and passionate to do anything except burn themselves out." says Kurt, cold and detached, "Brittany would have loved Santana through forever, and I didn't even know that Santana knew the meaning of giving up. I wanted it to be them."

_I wanted it to be us, _thinks Blaine.

"I forget what it's like to trust you,"

(And that's what kills Blaine, because he knows better than anyone that he is _all _that Kurt ever wanted, swore that he would be the one good thing that stays in Kurt's life _always_.)

It isn't an accusation: "I forget what it's like to believe in you, to think that you would never hurt me, Blaine."

But he lets Blaine take his hand, grips back just as tight as if he can anchor himself back in time to when they hadn't broken each other's hearts.

* * *

Throughout the week, Blaine catches Kurt in the moments between his work.

He drives Kurt the two hours to the Vogue building and sits on the steps as Kurt goes into his meeting.

Blaine has his earphones plugged in when Kurt exits the building, his gelled head bopping along and dancing on the spot while he sits as he lip syncs the words dramatically.

When Blaine catches sight of Kurt, he simply grins, takes out the headphones and serenades Kurt, voice loud and deep and like burgundy velvet. The song is old and one that Kurt has long since forgotten, tucked back deep in his mind with the high school memories that he hadn't though he'd need or want anymore.

Kurt doesn't sing back, but he lets Blaine tug him close and twirl him around and around until his head spins and his chest heaves from laughter.

Blaine integrates in Kurt's routine with his family seamlessly.

Kurt comes back from a meeting with a client to find Blaine and Finn hovering over the oven, swatting away Carole's attempts to help. Conversation at the dinner table flows easily (this doesn't surprise Kurt even a little, Blaine had quickly and steadily won over Burt and Carole's affection a week into kissing Kurt for the first time).

Finn and Blaine ambush Kurt and somehow manage to pin him between their shoulders on the couch as they play some racing game on Finn's Xbox.

Half an hour in, Kurt's ear is sore from their shouting, Blaine is half sitting on Kurt's thigh and Finn has elbowed him in the face about seven times. Kurt thinks about all the times he's been in this situation, and how much he misses Finn's laugh and the way Blaine tugs his curls loose of the gel in frustration.

As he bids them goodnight, Burt casually mentions that Blaine can stay over, in case he's too tired for the drive back home.

But after Finn has head up to bed and Kurt can barely keep his eyes open, Blaine gathers up his things to leave and takes Kurt's face in his hands, fingers tucked gently around his jaw and temple and ears.

They kiss slow and deep and gentle, and Kurt loves the sound of Blaine sucking in a breath through his nose.

Kurt can feel the puffiness of his lips as he watches Blaine drive away, can already feel himself starting to miss Blaine.

* * *

The next night, Kurt asks Blaine to stay.

They stay up much too late, side by side on Kurt's bed and barely touching.

Kurt tells Blaine about New York, about neon nights and all the little things he loves about it and even the things that make the city feel too new and too foreign sometimes. He tells Blaine about Rachel's cycle of men, about the promotion that Isabelle had hinted at, about the few times he's gotten drunk enough for one night stands. (Blaine giggles and teases, but he shuffles closer and looks absolutely possessive.)

And Blaine tells Kurt about Ohio, about having to face all the things and places that they'd loved together. He tells Kurt about their friends—which ones are happy and which ones aren't and which ones were meant to make it out of Ohio but never did.

When Kurt asks Blaine which one he is, and Blaine doesn't answer. He doesn't say that he'd written Kurt into _all _his paths, that he loves performing and loves Ohio and would probably love New York just as much. He doesn't say that he could probably move to an island with no Internet and no music and still be happy, as long as he could still love Kurt.

But Kurt hears him anyway.

* * *

When he wakes up and makes eye contact with Blaine to find an expression mirroring his own, he barely has time to listen and make sure that the house is empty before Blaine is pushing down his pants and taking Kurt's cock into his mouth.

He remembers all of Santana's innuendos about Blaine being good with his mouth, laughs as he thinks about how right she is before clinging hard to Blaine's curls and letting Blaine take care of him.

Blaine brings him right to the edge of unbearable oversensitivity before letting go with a slick pop, nuzzling and mouthing at Kurt's balls instead.

In minutes, the rub of Blaine's cheek has Kurt's cock twitching again in interest, and by the time Blaine has three fingers in him, Kurt is fully hard and fucking himself down onto Blaine's fingers enthusiastically.

He expects the pull of Blaine withdrawing his fingers but whines unashamedly when Blaine rolls off of Kurt and instead sits up against the headrest.

It takes Kurt a minute to realize what Blaine wants when he pats his laps and raises his eyebrows.

Then he is climbing into Blaine lap and lowering himself onto Blaine's dick, babbling Blaine's name over and over again.

Kurt's favourite part of fucking Blaine is that Blaine loves the _closeness _of sex. Before Kurt even starts riding himself on Blaine, he is already snuffling into Kurt's neck and groaning with his arms around Kurt.

By the time Kurt's thighs are shaking with exertion, he can feel the orgasm just out of reach. He pulls his mouth away from the Blaine's neck, still maintaining his pace but begging, "Please, Blaine, oh god _ohgod please _Blaine."

Blaine has never been anything less than an absolutely attentive, generous lover, making sure to take care of Kurt's needs before his own.

He collapses forward into Blaine as Blaine grunts and starts thrusting up enthusiastically into Kurt, before rolling them over and pounding into Kurt hard.

"Come on, Kurt. Come for me baby," he grunts, low and deep, "Tell me how good I make you feel."

Kurt is in the middle of telling Blaine with his hands and teeth just how _fucking good_ Blaine is making him feel when his orgasm crescendos over him, drowning out his words and turning them into moans.

After the first clench of Kurt's orgasm, Blaine buries his face in Kurt's neck and thrusts shallow and quick as they ride out the pleasure together.

When they can both breathe again, Kurt presses his lips into Blaine's chest and whispers: "Don't let me go ever,"

"Never again," Blaine murmurs into Kurt's hair, "Never never never again."

* * *

Blaine walks Kurt to the departure gate.

"I'll miss you," says Blaine, and they kiss hot and hard like teenagers, resolutely ignoring the way Finn bumbles and stutters to no one in particular.

Kurt asks: "Stay with me, okay?"

Kurt thinks about the way Blaine had looked at him in high school, sweet and in love and happy. Then he thinks about the way Blaine is looking at him now, a little grown up and a little sharper around the edges, but just as in love.

(In the moments between breaths, Kurt realizes that their sharp edges fit together just perfectly.)

"Always, Kurt."

Blaine watches Kurt fly away, feels himself starting to miss Kurt already.

* * *

Blaine starts packing as soon as he gets home, and buys his one way ticket to New York.

* * *

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